As a woman, I know the struggle of learning how to love my own body. Looking in the mirror and hating certain parts of myself “my stomach isn’t flat” “my boobs aren’t big enough” “I have too much cellulite”

Does that sound familiar? Yes…

because we’ve all been there. We are women and society has forced us into this box.Setting standards for how we are supposed to look, or how we are supposed to act. The media has shown us only one type of body, only one type of look, and thats the only way we can be loved. My goal as a Boudoir Photographer is to educate, promote body positivity and help you on this beautiful, scary but necessary journey of self love. My job as a woman is to smash the stigma that all bodies are not perfect, because the truth is whether or not the media displays it or not, is that every body is perfect! WE are all worthy of love and we are all beautiful in our own unique way.

With what I do, I always get asked HOW I got here - how I went from hating my body to loving every bit of myself and who I am. Its a long story and I still struggle with body positivity as my body changes and goes through stages. being in my late 20’s now , after a baby, my body isn’t the same as I remember but Ive learned to love it, exactly for what it is now. Fully. I can’t tell you step by step on how I got to this point in my life but I can give you some tips and advice that have worked for me. The first thing I’m going to say is you have to WANT IT! repeat YOU HAVE TO WANT IT! if you aren’t ready for this journey, if you aren’t willing to dive deep into your being and do the work that it takes, you arent ready. and thats okay too. You will get there eventually. That being said, it's important to keep in mind that there is no destination. As our bodies are constantly changing, we have to keep up with our own journey and we need to find what works for us. Find and live our truth.

Just like anything else, self love is work. It's a journey. It's tears and ups and downs and it's emotionally draining and it's difficult. But it's worth it. The journey is so worth it. because when I look in the mirror now, all i see is my beautiful curves, my eyes shining with love, my crazy gorgeous curly hair. When I look into the mirror now and see only 100% love for myself and my body. It was worth all the ups and all the downs, all the tears, and all of the breakdowns. to be at this point now, where i truly lobe my self , This is what I want to give every woman! This is what all of you deserve.

LEARNING HOW TO LOVE YOUR BODY

TIP # 1 APPRECIATE WHAT YOUR BODY CAN DO!

Im a firm believer in gratitude! So appreciate what your body can do. live in gratitude because it changes everything. Our bodies are strong as hell. Women are strong as hell. Ladies, we can literally birth human beings! We can run, We can use our hands, Hell we have hands. Instead of looking at all of the so called flaws and saying, ‘I hate my fat arms’ Let’s replace it with gratitude. I am so grateful for my arms that I can hug my partner with. Instead of saying, ‘ I hate my stretch marks’ try 'I am so lucky my body was able to house and birth my healthy children into this world. Let’s replace it with gratitude. Its hard to hate your body when you’re filling yourself with love.

**TIP # 2 F*CK THE STEREOTYPES!**

I used to feel like i never fit in, I never looked like other girls around me. My ass never fit into those Abrecrombie jeans, My hair wasn’t straight enough , my hips weren’t thin enough. I struggled for years with these feelings. Until one day I woke up and started looking at myself as a whole being and I realized that i am smart, i am driven, I am unique. and Yes I am beautiful. True beauty isn’t about fitting into a cultural stereotype. True beauty isn’t cookie cutter no matter what the media or society says. True beauty shines from within in, so stop trying to fit into this cookie cutter mold. You weren’t meant to fit in . None of us were meant to fit in, because we are all unique. We are all beautiful and we are all worthy of feeling that way. So raise your middle finger up to society and its stereotypes!

TIP # 3 CONNECT WITH YOURSELF!

You heard me sis… connect with yourself. with your body. Touch yourself, stare at yourself, stare those “flaws” right in the face until they become apart of you. Until you look at them with acceptance and love. Thank your body for all that it does ( see tip #1 ) journal. JOURNAL. J.O.U.R.N.A.L. This has helped me so much , writing down everything you love about your self, everything you are learning to love, Write down what others love about you. Write your feelings your goals. Once you get it all down on paper you will start to see those issues arent really that significant. There is so much more to life than, your body, than the weight you have gained or lost, than the jiggles, than the scars. There is so much more to life than appearances and once you come to that realization you’ll start loving every part of yourself, because thats what truly matters.

TIP # 4 STOP COMPARING!

I know it’s harder done than said. The reality is comparison is our reality, especially in a world so filled with social media like ours. We see everyones perfectly curated squares of the highlights of their life. Its hard not to compare your self to ‘ Sara the influencer who just bought a new car, has the perfect bod, has the perfect family and has no issues. ever! ‘ Im telling you guys now….. Thats a lie. Everyone is facing something, everyone is going through something, everyone has their own struggles , life isn’t supposed to be perfect 100% of the time. life is about the experience about the journey. You will never know the light if there is no dark. So you have to stop! so the comparison because Michelle over there is struggling with the same body issues as you. There is not one woman on this planet that is exactly the same, so how the hell are we going to compare ourselves with someone that isn’t even on the same path as us? who cares if she’s 10 pounds lighter, who cares if she has naturally plump lips and red hair. it doesn’t effect you and your journey so stop hindering yourself from moving forward on your self love path by comparing yourself with her. you aren’t her, and she isn’t you! You are unique and thats what makes you beautiful. Remember there is no one out there that will ever be a better you! So my advice if you’re really struggling with this is to unfollow or unfriend anyone who is making you feel bad about yourself. You can love and support them from afar. Now if they are in person , maybe a friend or family member. Communication, talk to them about it if they want you to win they will cut back on the bragging . but the best advice I can give is to change your mindset girl! Like I said no one can be you , so rock the shit out of being your beautiful self!

TIP # 5 TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE!

It all changed for me when I finally just said enough. ENOUGH of me feeling like this. I am tired of hating my body , Im tired of not wearing the things I want to wear, Im tired of isolating myself and feeling depressed. I didn’t need permission to love my self and my body and neither do you babe. If you’re waiting for that sign to finally let go , to finally stop criticizing your self HERE IS YOUR SIGN!!! I don’t care how much you weight, what your jean size is, I don’t care if you have blonde hair or small boobs. ITS OKAY! It’s okay to love yourself for who you are, no matter where you are in your journey, whether you’re obsessing over maintaining the perfect shape, or struggling with an eating disorder, or crying while you look in the mirror and tear yourself apart. I love you and its okay. its okay to let go and finally just say you’ve had enough! to finally start living. You’re allowed to love your self. I hope you love yourself.

I hope these tips give you some courage to continue on this journey, I know its a hard one and most days you feel like giving up. But please keep going, I can tell you that after 26 years , after a beautiful child, after weight gained and weight lost, Im happy. Im happy with who I am, with my body, with my mind, with my soul. You’re not alone in this journey, we are all right here with you.

xoxo Tonya Nikole